My wife Valerie (Val) and I have been together for over 20 years. Val always talked about wanting to be a foster parent one day, because she would on occasion babysit for a neighbor who fostered. This neighbor is a saint in my opinion. She fostered special needs children…not just a few…but, well over 100 kids over the years! That is phenomenal. I have a great appreciation for people who have the patience, the time, and the energy to foster that many children.
I am not that special kind of person even though I love children (including our 2 adopted teens) that level of commitment is above what I can provide emotionally. I knew it would be difficult to parent another person’s child who had been through so much, but I had no idea what we were getting into. It has been a crazy journey full of ups and downs (and sometimes weeks of downs), but we love our kids and we want the best for them. The hardest part is getting them to want a better life. It seems simple, but the psychological and emotional damage that happens with these kids due to the trauma they have experienced changes the way their brains work. Doesn’t every kid want to succeed and move out on their own one day. Maybe go to college and get a good paying job? It is a struggle for them to see the future and all of the possibilities they now have. They tend to live in the past and get stuck there…in that abusive situation…in that place where they never had food to eat…in that person’s home that is not their home. It is sad and it is scary!
We will take you on our journey from the first day with our first placement…in June 2020…during Covid and all of the anxiety that was already surrounding every family in America…to our final adoption in 2023. We will talk about the struggles, the lack of support, the feeling of “no one understands” and more. We hope you will join us and let us support you on your journey and all of those struggling to provide these kids a great future!
Michelle